Posts Tagged ‘TCKs’

Today I just finished reading a college essay written by one of my students about coping with learning differences in an international school that refuses to acknowledge or accept learning disabilities in its students. In her poignant essay, this B/C student writes about how hard she worked to keep up with the other students, and feared being “discovered” and expelled based on her learning needs. The blow to this hard-working young woman’s self-esteem was so forceful that she almost did not want to apply to college at all. Knowing that she has written brilliant essays by herself, learned the meaning of hard work and perseverance, and finally hit the “submit” button on the applications almost moves me to tears. We’ve come a long way in our work together.

This story will have a happy ending. I’m happy to say that almost all of my students (touch wood) have had a similar happy ending to their story. But many of them have zigged and zagged along the way, and their struggles started early in childhood. This morning I read a touching blog at Smart Kids with LD by Jonathan Mooney called “Second Grade Terrors” in which he describes feeling sick with fear when asked to read aloud as a second-grader. For this dyslexic child, it felt like a public humiliation. To avoid the situation he would get up, ask to go to the bathroom, cry, and feel like he was choking. He writes that sometimes he even thought about suicide.

Jonathan Moody’s story had a happy ending, too. As an honors graduate from Brown University,  he and his friend, David Cole, co-authored a book called Learning Outside the Lines: Two Ivy League Students with Learning Disabilities and ADHD Give You the Tools for Academic Success and Educational Revolution.

Today Jonathan Moody is a motivational speaker and has founded a non-profit organization to advocate on behalf of individuals with learning disabilities. This story and book are not only practical, but inspirational.

Learning Center Offices at one American university

To those schools who say, “We don’t take students with learning disabilities because we are college prep,” I have this to say. In the United States, any college or university that receives federal money has support for students with disabilities. Even at an Ivy League school like Brown. Students with learning disabilities can and should go to college if that is their dream and they are motivated to achieve it.

Jonathan is now spending his life drawing attention to and advocating for these kids. I understand that there are multitudes of children in the United States whose learning needs are not being addressed. I see this with my students coming from international schools, too. This problem is global. As imperfect as the special education system in the United States is at times, at least it is a federal mandate. Students in international schools, even American international schools, may or may not find learning support. Far too often I see the unwanted consequences of having an unmet learning need in this internationally mobile school population.

When unidentified or unmet learning needs are coupled with frequent moves and adjustments, often these students become at risk for lower self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and feelings of inadequacy. Many of them can’t see that they, too, can go on to university. They feel different, or that they are failures.

In even more serious scenarios, I see some of these students engage in risky behaviors, or develop a mental health issue that sets them off course. Jonathan Moody describes how he felt as a second grader – imagine how those feelings would be magnified in an adolescent. He mentions in this blog that at times he thought about suicide. I can tell you that I work with pre-teens and teens who not only think about it, but act on it.

Help and support for these students is available. I have written about this before, so will not go into these options here.

These are serious issues that can have far reaching consequences on the life and future of a young person. But once identified and addressed, as demonstrated by Jonathan Moody and my student who submitted the essay today, the future can be bright and without limits.

You’ve heard that expression, “Out of the mouths of babes comes the truth.” Well, when talking to the students at the Anglo-American School of Sofia (AAS-Sofia), I certainly heard a lot of true and common sense statements!

AAS-Sofia - School at the end of the rainbow!

I was recently invited by the Parent Teacher Organization to speak to students and parents at the AAS-Sofia, and was charmed by the enthusiastic participation of the student audiences, particularly the younger children who have few inhibitions about sharing their wisdom with others. When surveyed, their hands kept going up in the air when asked:

• “How many of you have been to one or more continents? 2, 3, 4, 5?”
• “How many of you have moved internationally two times? 3, 4, 5…6?”
• “How many of you speak more than one language at home?”
• “How many of you have more than one passport?”
• “How many of you have parents with different passports?”

These children fit the classic definition of a Third Culture Kid, TCK, or Global Nomad. They usually were born in one country and now live in another, have moved internationally multiple times, speak more than one language, and have traveled extensively. So when it comes to asking how to successfully navigate so many moves and adjustments, who better to ask than the experts themselves?

What pleasantly surprised me was how many of the kids have positive feelings about international relocations. Sure, they admitted, moving is not always fun. When asked what the hardest part about moving was, no matter the age, they always said it was hard to leave friends behind, and sometimes hard to make new ones.

Welcome to The Anglo-American School of Sofia

So if leaving friends behind is the hardest part about moving internationally, then what advice could they give to a kid about to do it for the first time? This was precisely the question I asked the elementary students, grades 3 – 5, as well as the middle school and high school students. I also asked them to comment on the other factors they identified as being difficult in order to give other kids some of their good advice. Though I got great counsel from all three groups, I will focus on the words of wisdom from the younger kids since we don’t hear their voices often enough. So, from the mouths of babes…

Challenge: Being the New Kid

Advice:

• Don’t be nervous
• Learn the language a little so that you can make new friends
• Pick out a person who you’d like to be friends with and be their friend
• Teach your new friends about your country
• Start a new conversation with another kid
• Be proud of yourself

Challenge: Play dates with New Friends

Advice:

• Show your new friend around your house
• Tell them about your house and about yourself
• Let them try different kinds of food at your house
• Play nice and be fair
• Make them feel like your house is their home
• Compare differences and find things in common

Challenge: How to Treat New Kid

Advice:

• Be friendly
• Invite them to play on the playground
• Sit with them at lunch so that they won’t be alone

Challenge: Saying Goodbye

Advice:

• Give hugs
• Give them a present (i.e. memory books)
• Keep in touch
• Wish them well

Challenge: Learning to deal with new people, places, foods, and culture

Advice:

• Tell them to just try some new food once to see if you like it
• Smile anyway
• Invite them to go somewhere with you and your family

Challenge: Dealing with homesickness for the last place they lived

Advice:

• Invite the person who is homesick to play
• Tell them to call or write their old friends, or look at a picture or memory book they might have given you
• Go out and have some fun with someone new
• Do something with your family
• Share your toys with the person who is new

In sum, these kids have an amazing positive attitude! Since they have been the new kid so many times, they know what it’s like. They understand that having a new friend is sometimes all it takes to start liking a place again. It’s the personal connection, and social interaction, that makes a place a home in every sense of the word. Their final words of advice for kids moving overseas?

Enjoy it! It’s fun to go new places!

Many thanks to the wonderful students, parents, teachers, administrators, and staff at The Anglo-American School of Sofia for enabling me to have such a productive and enjoyable visit.

Rebecca at Scripps College

This last year alone, I did over 100 campus visits. That’s a lot of time and expense spent on travel! So why do I do it? Because there is no better way to get a feel for what an educational institution is all about. And for my families living outside the U.S. who can’t so easily travel, I become their “eyes and ears”.

When I talk to students about boarding school or college/university, they are usually interested and engaged. They know this is a huge step in their lives. However, I often feel like I am talking in abstracts because the student really cannot visualize or imagine just what it is that I am trying to describe. When I ask what they want out of college, the setting they may want, or the number of students that might be ideal for them, they usually have no clue what I mean unless they have done some visits. Far too often, their boarding school or college list is based solely on the well-known rankings, but there has been no thought as to whether or not that school may be the right fit for them. They gravitate towards name recognition and what is known. So I often spend a lot of time trying to give them a sense of the huge array of opportunities and differences that are out there.

My own campus visits are the number one way I learn about colleges. When I visit a campus, I am doing multiple assessments as I appear to be “just walking around”. So please allow me to explain ­­­­7 most important things I’m looking for during the campus visit.

Susan Sykes, my friend and colleague, and me at Miami University

1. Setting. Where is the school in relationship to the world? Especially for students coming from abroad, whether they are American Third Culture Kids(TCKS) returning “home” or international students, where they study is extremely important. Such things as access to a major airport, rural or urban settings, and surrounding neighborhoods tend to be significant factors in whether or not the student will adjust. Campus safety is also extremely important, so I want to know what kind of neighborhood it’s in and what the student will pass through to get to and from campus. I always ask myself how I would feel if MY child were going there.

2. Campus atmosphere. What does the campus “feel” like when you walk around? The best campus visits are made when students are present. What image do they project? Do they look happy and relaxed? Are they friendly? Stressed? Where are they hanging out? Are they interacting with each other? Where and how are they studying? Are there signs up for activities?

3. What Students Have to Say. Whenever I have a chance, I always talk to students. These may be chance encounters, a student panel, or the student tour guide. Through our conversations, I can get a lot of information about the student body and their values, activities, campus life and campus culture. I ask about how they feel about their instructors/professors, projects, availability of classes, class size, advising, where to go for help, college or career guidance, study abroad, internships, other students, presence of other TCKs or international students on campus, the food, activities, weekends, what kind of student would be happiest there, who wouldn’t be happy there, what the “party scene” is like, what they like best, what they would change, etc.

Upham Hall, Miami U

4. What Instructors/Professors and Staff Have to Say. How do they talk about their work? Their students? Why do they love (or don’t) love teaching/working there? How many adjunct/part-time faculty do they have? What is the teacher/professor turnover rate? What special programs do they offer? What are the strongest departments? What new initiatives are being undertaken on campus? What are they looking for in students (admissions)? How selective is the boarding school/college? What is their retention/graduation rate? Have they experienced any pain due to budget cuts? You can tell a lot about a school when you ask someone to talk about their work!

5. How Residential is the Campus? If it’s a boarding school, I want to know how many students live on campus as boarders relative to the number of day students. If there are boarders, are they 5-day boarders who go home on weekends? If it’s college, is it mostly residential or commuter students? Is it a “suitcase college”, i.e. students go home on weekends? If students live on campus, are they guaranteed housing all 4 years? If not, what is the local housing market for students like? These questions are a huge factor in building campus culture.

6. Physical Plant and Facilities. I call this my “mulch test”. Are the grounds well-kept? Is maintenance being done on schedule? How does the campus look and feel? What are the buildings like? Dorms? Food services? Recreational facilities? Athletic facilities?  Studios for the arts? Library? Where do students do most of their studying?

Students hanging out between classes at Miami U.

7. Understanding of TCK or International Student Issues. I saved this one for last. I want to know – would my student coming from abroad, a long way from home, with a wealth of different experiences to share, feel welcome and valued on this campus? How strong is the institution’s commitment to helping international students adjust? What countries are the international students coming from? How are they recruited? How does the institution view the TCK (or do they even know what that is)?

By the end of the campus visit, I usually have a good sense of the kind of student that would do well at that boarding school/college/university. Most of my families find it hard to travel to visit even a few boarding schools or colleges, let alone all 9 or 10 that may appear on the customized list I prepare for a student. So during the family meeting when I’m explaining why I am recommending certain schools, I can speak with confidence about why the school will probably be a good “fit and match” for that student’s individual needs.

This thought is always in the back of my mind – if this student chooses the school I recommended, and the parents take their precious child to the campus on the first day to drop them off, based in large part on my recommendation, are they going to be happy with their choice, or want to kill me for suggesting such a place for their child? I want both students AND parents to feel comfortable and happy, knowing that they have considered all their options and made the right educational choice!