Posts Tagged ‘International Schools’

You’ve heard that expression, “Out of the mouths of babes comes the truth.” Well, when talking to the students at the Anglo-American School of Sofia (AAS-Sofia), I certainly heard a lot of true and common sense statements!

AAS-Sofia - School at the end of the rainbow!

I was recently invited by the Parent Teacher Organization to speak to students and parents at the AAS-Sofia, and was charmed by the enthusiastic participation of the student audiences, particularly the younger children who have few inhibitions about sharing their wisdom with others. When surveyed, their hands kept going up in the air when asked:

• “How many of you have been to one or more continents? 2, 3, 4, 5?”
• “How many of you have moved internationally two times? 3, 4, 5…6?”
• “How many of you speak more than one language at home?”
• “How many of you have more than one passport?”
• “How many of you have parents with different passports?”

These children fit the classic definition of a Third Culture Kid, TCK, or Global Nomad. They usually were born in one country and now live in another, have moved internationally multiple times, speak more than one language, and have traveled extensively. So when it comes to asking how to successfully navigate so many moves and adjustments, who better to ask than the experts themselves?

What pleasantly surprised me was how many of the kids have positive feelings about international relocations. Sure, they admitted, moving is not always fun. When asked what the hardest part about moving was, no matter the age, they always said it was hard to leave friends behind, and sometimes hard to make new ones.

Welcome to The Anglo-American School of Sofia

So if leaving friends behind is the hardest part about moving internationally, then what advice could they give to a kid about to do it for the first time? This was precisely the question I asked the elementary students, grades 3 – 5, as well as the middle school and high school students. I also asked them to comment on the other factors they identified as being difficult in order to give other kids some of their good advice. Though I got great counsel from all three groups, I will focus on the words of wisdom from the younger kids since we don’t hear their voices often enough. So, from the mouths of babes…

Challenge: Being the New Kid

Advice:

• Don’t be nervous
• Learn the language a little so that you can make new friends
• Pick out a person who you’d like to be friends with and be their friend
• Teach your new friends about your country
• Start a new conversation with another kid
• Be proud of yourself

Challenge: Play dates with New Friends

Advice:

• Show your new friend around your house
• Tell them about your house and about yourself
• Let them try different kinds of food at your house
• Play nice and be fair
• Make them feel like your house is their home
• Compare differences and find things in common

Challenge: How to Treat New Kid

Advice:

• Be friendly
• Invite them to play on the playground
• Sit with them at lunch so that they won’t be alone

Challenge: Saying Goodbye

Advice:

• Give hugs
• Give them a present (i.e. memory books)
• Keep in touch
• Wish them well

Challenge: Learning to deal with new people, places, foods, and culture

Advice:

• Tell them to just try some new food once to see if you like it
• Smile anyway
• Invite them to go somewhere with you and your family

Challenge: Dealing with homesickness for the last place they lived

Advice:

• Invite the person who is homesick to play
• Tell them to call or write their old friends, or look at a picture or memory book they might have given you
• Go out and have some fun with someone new
• Do something with your family
• Share your toys with the person who is new

In sum, these kids have an amazing positive attitude! Since they have been the new kid so many times, they know what it’s like. They understand that having a new friend is sometimes all it takes to start liking a place again. It’s the personal connection, and social interaction, that makes a place a home in every sense of the word. Their final words of advice for kids moving overseas?

Enjoy it! It’s fun to go new places!

Many thanks to the wonderful students, parents, teachers, administrators, and staff at The Anglo-American School of Sofia for enabling me to have such a productive and enjoyable visit.

The band started playing “Pomp and Circumstance” as the graduating class of 2010 processed into the gym. Coming to see the graduation of some of the students I had worked with on college applications was the culmination of a busy week in which I had blogged, posted, emailed, and spoken to parents about the transition to college, especially for Third Culture Kids. I had listened to, advised, and consoled parents about how to get through graduation without tears and embrace the changes their children were about to experience. So then, as the students entered the gym, why did I get a lump in my throat and feel tears stinging my own eyes? I did not expect to get emotional – after all, I wasn’t the parent this time and I was the one who had been doing the consoling!

As I sat there through the graduation ceremony, I thought about that long and hard. What was wrong with me? Why was I getting emotional about this? And the answer came to me – because as the one who helped to guide and advise these students, as well as my other students in other parts of the world, these kids and their families had become very dear to me as we experienced the journey together.

The role of the educational consultant, or independent counselor, is not just that of someone who helps kids decide on schools and gets the applications done. No, it’s much, much more than that. It’s about relationships.

With each one of my students, we had spent hours and hours talking about their personalities, interests, hopes, and dreams. Together with their parents, we took our time fine tuning “the list” until we had a list of schools that would be appropriate for them and their uniqueness. We had brainstormed ideas about essays, and in doing so, had had wonderful and candid conversations about who they were, who their friends were, what stirred their souls, and how they were going to tell their story. I knew when each one of them had hit the “send” button on their applications, and heard from them one by one as the acceptances and denials came. And I helped them think through their values and how they would make their final decisions. For each of these kids, I have loads of emails and online chats saved, most of which start with “Hey Becky!”

But even that was not all that we experienced together. Each student and family has a special story to tell….and throughout the year, the story keeps unfolding. We talked about their schedules, how to approach the SATs, how to deal a difficult class, stress, a less-than-hoped-for grade or grades, wait lists, denials, and setbacks. My students faced crises throughout the year as well – serious illness, deaths in the family, the loss of fellow students, and uncertainty regarding their own family circumstances. Parents confided their own hopes, dreams, fears, and worries with me, too, and I answered countless questions that they had. We were in this together.

So it’s no wonder that seeing students graduate was also an emotional moment for me. It wasn’t just seeing the students I had worked with make it to the finish line with their college acceptances in hand. I was also thinking of the students whose graduations I would not get to see in person, and knowing the stories of the families who stood behind their kids. Most of all, I was struck with how much love and support these kids had been fortunate to receive. And how lucky I was personally that I got to play a role in shaping their futures. These new graduates are my kids, too, and therefore, my own tears are those of pride and joy.

Welcome to my blog where I will be talking about important issues that families face as they move their children around the world. There are many wonderful advantages as well as challenges that come with raising global nomads. Here you will find discussion about issues that are on every expat parent’s mind – transitions and resiliency for our Third Culture Kids, planning for the next move and choosing the right school, how to best serve our children with special needs, and when boarding schools are the right choice. We also need a forum to talk about what to do when our kids struggle and things start getting rough. And lastly, we need to talk about planning for college/university and how to go through the application process.

Why join me? I am an educational consultant, but not just any ed consultant. I specialize in working with internationally mobile families as well as international students. These families face all the challenges that every other family faces, and then some. Few people “back home” really understand what it means to uproot your family every few years and start all over again in a new part of the world. Even going “home” isn’t as easy as one would think!

So when I am working with a family, we not only need to talk about the schooling issues at hand, but also how that fits into the reality of being a global nomad. There is an extra layer of complexity that we need to deal with, whether it be choosing a college, boarding school, finding solutions for the child with learning challenges, or transitioning to a new locale. The conversations are about the child and school – and so much more.

However, many of my international families are NOT on the move. Many of the students and families I work with are living and working in their native lands, yet also have concerns about their children’s education. I have worked with families from every corner of the world, and from a huge range of ethnic and religious backgrounds. Being aware of how culture affects the situation is also critically important when working with a family.

So join me on the journey as we talk about that which is most dear to us – our children!